do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
