so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
