Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
