belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
