i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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