i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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