I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
