You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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