The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
