yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
