I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
