KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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