hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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