Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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