i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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