try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
whose parrot is this?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
