if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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