Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
