My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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