I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
