I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
