he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
