official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
