I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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