He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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