I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
