I'm gonna have a badass scar
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
