In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
