i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Who died my cat blue again?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
