I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
