I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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