He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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