There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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