Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize