how can u be prego again
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize