He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize