this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize