Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
