you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize