somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just want nice things and good sex
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
