Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
