If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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