I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
