I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
