Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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