when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize