i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
