there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
