I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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