So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
wow bdsm is so cute
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