you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
