i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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