i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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