ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize