he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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