He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
