very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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