According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
