dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize
