I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
