Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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