I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize