Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We need to rekindle our bromance
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So vagazzling was a success
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
