Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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