i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
