So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize