Your dad touched me again.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
