dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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