he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
