I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
