Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i drank out of a bidet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
