I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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