can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
